i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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