Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
