4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
