Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize