what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
