Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
