Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
