last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
