I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
