and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize