He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
