and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
whose parrot is this?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
please don't ironically join a cult
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