you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
