Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
