His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
please don't ironically join a cult
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