In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
