her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
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Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
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My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Will exercising make me less horny?
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