After last night, I could never be a politician.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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