Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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