Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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