Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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