I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
