at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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