omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
