I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
