Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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