if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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