When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
