I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
