walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
