i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
