thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
false alarm, still single
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
