is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
well you can't waste a boner
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
