Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
