I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
