Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
