Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
