I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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