Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my cat just said my name.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
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