im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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