you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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