Porn is love you can see.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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