we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You need Xanax blowdarts
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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