her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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