Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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