No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
