I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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