i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I didn't notice because vodka
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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