I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
