I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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