so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
