I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
