I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
