I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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