i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
