Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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