For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
