Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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