he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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