If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
