i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
