belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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